There are a ton of confusing messages out there regarding alcohol. You’ve got billboards talking about 100 calorie beer, reduced sugar mixers, and commercials on Hulu, Netflix, and Cable (does anyone have that anymore?) that are messing with your mind.

The reality is, if you drink sh*t, you’ll feel like sh*t. So let me break down the items that will give you the hangover of the century and tips on what to make and order that will heal your body, while giving you a buzz. Let’s help you determine the healthiest alcoholic drinks so you can indulge with confidence.

The Crappy Drinks that Make You Boated and B*tchy

  1. Margarita – Drink just 1 or 2 of these sugar bombs and you’re well on your way to meeting your daily total caloric needs.
  2. Long Island Iced Tea – Made with everything but the kitchen sink — rum, gin, vodka, tequila, triple sec, sour mix, cola – a Long Island Iced Tea can have more calories than an entire meal.
  3. White Russian – Made with vodka, Kahlua and cream, a six-ounce White Russian can have more than an entire day’s allowance of saturated fat.
  4. Pina Colada or Slushy Drinks -They can deliver more calories than a Big Mac and more sugar than a KitKat bar!
  5. Beer – Beers can vary by hundreds of calories, but even those ‘low calorie’ options are loaded with bad carbs and are junk.
  6. Monster and Vodka – That’s a stimulant (caffeine) mixed with a depressant (alcohol), all in one sugar-laden package destined to leave you mentally and physically drained.

The Healthiest Alcoholic Drinks Keep You Skinny + UnHungover

  • Pineapple and Tequila – By drinking tequila you can benefit from the weight-loss properties of agavins, which are a particular kind of sugar in tequila and some of the fructans which tequila is derived from contains probiotics. Let’s not forget freshly squeezed pineapple juice which is the only major dietary source of bromelain which has incredible anti-inflammatory properties.

Recipe – Jalapeño-Infused Avion Tequila, a drop of Vanilla, fresh juiced Pineapple, Lemon, Salt

  • Watermelon and Vodka – Health benefits of vodka include better cardiovascular health, reduction in stress, and it’s astringent nature keeps the skin healthy and promotes hair growth. Watermelon is loaded with lycopene is powerful in neutralizing harmful free radicals in our body, as well as the alkalizing effect maintains the acid-alkaline balance in the body.

Recipe – Coconut Water, fresh juiced Watermelon, Lime, Basil and Vodka

  • Activated Charcoal and Mezcal – Activated charcoal is a potent natural treatment used to trap toxins and chemicals in the body, allowing them to be flushed out so the body doesn’t reabsorb them and Mezcal helps with digestion, as well as the regulation of blood sugars and can help lower cholesterol levels.

Recipe – Mezcal Joven, lime juice, raspberry preserves, and activated charcoal

  • Rosé Wine –  A glass contains a number of beneficial anti-inflammatory properties, is relatively low in calories, and contains resveratrol which is fermented with the skins, and has the highest levels of beneficial antioxidants.

Recipe – Pour rosé into a glass, add an ice cube if you so desire, and drink the beautiful pink drink of the Gods.

  • Bloody Mary – It’s very low cal and it packs in a ton of nutrients as horseradish fights common cold, tomato juice is basically a cleanse, and there is some good fiber in these bad boys from the celery which is a great digestive aid.

Recipe – Mix vodka, tomato juice, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, celery, salt, and pepper in a glass, add ice, and brunch.

As an ex-party girl, it’s no secret that I love a little buzz. But as an ex-chronic disease sufferer, it’s important to be cautious when choosing my indulgences. If I’m going to whip my hair back and forth with a party in a glass, I want to make sure I’m doing so intelligently.

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