Travel can be a pain in the butt when you are trying to live a healthy lifestyle.

You are either standing up pacing/waiting or confined like a sardine for hours, meaning little hope of exercise of any sort. You may find yourself stuck in the middle seat with the two a-holes to your left and right taking up both armrests. Don’t they know the cardinal rule? The unlucky ninny who sits in the middle get both armrests because their seat sucks the most.

It’s. Practically. In. The. Bible.

Secondly, the options of healthy fare are slim to none. Oh, you have your ‘fake healthy’ nonsense that runs rampant. The sugar loaded smoothies that give you a worse hangover than cheap vodka at an all inclusive resort in Mexico. The fat-filled danish or breakfast sandwich that comes with your basic b unicorn frap. And don’t get me started on the puke processed airplane food.

No. No. NO!

But healthy travel is a necessity for unplugging from all consuming work and stress, broadening your horizons leading to spiritual growth, and getting a stunning sun kissed tan and swoon worthy Insta photos.

So how does one stay healthy as a mongoose while soaring through the sky on a jumbo jet?

I’m here to tell you my kickass simple tricks to be the healthiest wanderlust b*tch of them all.

Healthy Travel Tips

  1. Pack Snacks Like a Strategic Snake
    • Bring a big ass purse as your carryon and always pack a bag of nuts, a ripe avocado/salt/veggies, and fruit of some sort (a green apple, cherries, or banana are the easiest to transport and nosh on). Knowing I have food already prepped keeps my craving for airport crap at bay. Other healthy options include hummus, protein balls, nut butter, kale chips, spring rolls, or lentils.
  2. Stretch Like Nobodies Watching (Although Everyone Is)
    • I stopped giving a sh*t what people thought of me a long time ago and it’s time that you do the same. I don’t care if I look like a wanna-be Summer Sanders, before boarding you will always find me stretching. Some warrior 1 and 2, backbends, basically anything that doesn’t include hands on the gross floor (leave downward dog for the bedroom and planks for a yoga mat).
  3. Don’t Drink like an A-Hole, Drink like You’d Imagine TSwift Does
    • Can you imagine that bubbly fit blonde b*tch chugging beer, slurring for 3 extra bottles while asking the person next to her if they are going to finish their captain and coke. Hells no! She’s sticking to vodka/water/lime or rose with at least 3 additional waters during the duration. Do the same.
  4. Zen out with Your Pen Out
    • Staying healthy isn’t just about choosing the best food and beverage. It’s also about relaxing your mind and generating a chill demeanor through stress reducing techniques (deep, I know). Knowing this, I never hop on a plane without an old school pen and paper. I use most of the flight to free write my feelings, goals, and anything that is nagging at me. It’s almost as if I am psychoanalyzing my own sexy self through an in-depth dialogue between my soul and the universe. Try it, I’m telling you it’s a game changer.
  5. Pre and Post Plans are More Important Than Destination Itineraries
    • I used to say, “Ugh I always get sick when I travel! My immune system must be crazy low or something.” The truth is, I just didn’t plan my pre and post travel routine properly. Before you step on that plane, make sure to drink like a fish (water that is) and eat as clean as an overly bleached surgeons hand at least 3 days beforehand. Also, don’t schedule a ton of work and to-do’s the day you get back. Allow yourself one extra day of vacay to sleep, put things away, and eat detoxifying foods like veggies, protein, and quinoa. It’s called a ‘mental health day’, and it’s all the rage. 

So pack your bags and ginormous sun hat, you are ready to travel while still abiding by the healthy routine that gives you pride. But don’t be too strict with yourself. Celebrate at your destination with a glass of champagne. Or two. And say yes to that local staring at you across the bar. You know the mofo has abs of steel. Plus a romance fueled romp-fest burns more calories than a spin class.

Happy Healthy Travel Adventures 😉

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